|
|
Monday, May 26th, 2003
| |
5:13 pm
|
Well, looks like the weather is going to cooperate for the concert tonight. The temperature's still sort of lame, but eh, can't ask for everything...especially since it's not gonna rain. I'll be squished in close to enough people that I won't get cold while I'm there. ^_^ Hey, it's Memorial Day. Gotta do something outside, since I ended up not visiting home. Missed out on the picnic in the woods, which is a shame...it's nice to go out to the woods every now and then and just sort of stand around the fire. ...and throw things in the fire, too. ^_^ Yep, I'm a little pyromanic. ^_~
I just got done sending in an application for information to the local College of Optometry. I was worried at first looking at some of the pre-reqs, since the lists didn't match up well. One set listed the normal slew of science courses, which I've had; another section had all these Vision Science class requirements. I'm thinking, "What the heck? When are people supposed to take those? Do you have to decide as soon as you start undergrad that you want to be an optometrist? That doesn't match the national standards I saw..." But then I realized that those sorts of programs are for people that have their OD already and want to get more education in a specific area. I felt much relief, as I'm getting myself pretty excited about going for this. ^_^
Tch...and my cat's still a freak. She's making more and more noise everyday, which I still find creepy due to the fact that she was so quiet at first. I wish I found it funny, the way it is when Gypsy starts to meow. And she's still weird about wanting the food I'm eating. I opened a can of tuna just a bit ago to stick in my mac & cheese spirals (spirals are the best!) and I was glad to see her run right in and get interested...cats usually go crazy for tuna. So I put a smidge on her plate. She rushed over, looked at it, and went right back to looking at my food. It's the same damn stuff, but she's only interested in the part that I kept for myself... I'm also sad that she won't eat the blend of cat-friendly grasses I grew for her. I figured that a cat that was outside for her early life would love the chance to chew on some grass while sitting on the windowsill. Oh well...at least she's not eating my houseplant...
Well, I suppose that's it. Gotta be on my way to the concert any minute. Very excited about that, too. ^_^ It's turning out to be a pretty good day.
current mood:  accomplished
current music: Local on the 8's...good old Weather Channel
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Saturday, May 24th, 2003
| |
6:43 pm - Red Warrior needs food badly
|
You know, this whole bad computer connection deal doesn't make for easy updating. It's much better than before, but still not problem-free. Ah well.
So...I've been busy busy busy since the last time I updated. It's kind of nice to be like that, but I'm enjoying my day of being a bum (mostly) today. I think I'm actually going to break out the PS2 and try to get some levelling done on Xenosaga...haven't touched the game in two weeks.
Ugh...my cat is stinky. Yep, I now have a cat. ^_^ Here's the deal. Last Saturday, my roommate Mysti and I went back to Otterbein College to help with Campus Beautification Day. Planting flowers, visiting with one of our music professors, and wandering around campus made for a really great day. The new fitness center is up and very cool...wish it had been there when I was there. My only consolation is that there's still no swimming pool, so at least I didn't miss out on that. So, I suppose that I should go to visit campus more often...made me all nostalgic.
Anyhow, after our adventures at OC, I had to stop by the apartment complex's office to pick up a package, and Mysti came with me to ask the people when they needed notice of us leaving. That led us to chat about the fact that we want to leave is that we want a cat. So the lady we were talking to tells us that the pet policy on cats was lifted, but they just weren't making a general announcement because they didn't want everyone to run out and get a cat (although I think that's a stupid reason, as not everyone would do that). Well, that saves us from looking for a new apartment. Instead, we went out to look for a cat. ^_^
On Sunday, since gaming was cancelled, we went to the Cat Welfare Association building that's right near our apartment. They were having a special day and as a result, there were a lot of visitors, and they could go in the back to see the sick-bay kitties. They were so sweet back there...very glad to see some different faces. And our cat came from there. She's a tiny little calico that had been there for almost a year...she couldn't kick a respiratory infection, so poor little Ruthie had been staying in the back for quite a while. She had had kittens too early when she arrived at the shelter, and that's why she's so small. So, now she's ours...very sweet, very active, and very glad to be around us. Which is good, since it makes her forgive us faster when we give her medicine...no giving us the cold shoulder all day just because we fed her some meds. I also think she has some kind of mental attention span problem, as she's the most random cat I've ever seen. But, that's okay...it's just how she is. Besides, I haven't had a strong allergic reaction to her yet...super big bonus for me!
Also fun from last week was spending a evening chatting with my new friend David. He's a very nice guy...quite gentlemanly and all. We talked for hours...found out we had quite a few things in common. Don't really think a more intense sort of relationship would work though. I just got the feeling that we don't have enough...hmm...complimentary traits to offset personal weaknesses, maybe? Who knows. At least I've got a new friend to talk to now and then.
Had my last Tuesday Buffy-watching night, seeing as how the series is done now. No big surprise...I cried...I always cry at stuff like that. Console RPGs got me in that sort of mindframe, I think. I only used to get a lump in my throat at emotionally-charged movies and things before I really started to play. Oh well. I wasn't alone in being sniffy. Anyhow, I'm sort of disappointed that I missed practically the entire middle of the series. Maybe I'll be able to catch it in reruns or somethings. All in all, I now have Tuesday nights open, and that's cool, although I'll miss spending the evening with my friends.
Exercised a lot this week. Went to two Nia classes instead of just one, then sat and watched an aikido class today...which commanded a lot of intense attention, even if I was just sitting there. ^_~ So, moving around too much, combined with several long days at work have sort of sapped out my reserves. I'm not sore or super tired, although I did take an hour and a half nap today since I stayed up late to finish a novel last night. But I am just starved, and that's annoying. I've just got that feeling that I have to build up a little calorie stockpile. Blah. And people wonder why I don't like to exercise tons. I get muscle fast and then I'm hungry all the time...like I said, annoying. -_-
Well, now I think I want to look at some grad school options or something. I really feel like I want to get into a job position where I'm helping people out...something professional, maybe. I just have the feeling that I don't want to do research forever. Lots of different pressures and a lifestyle that's just not appealing. I don't want to be an utter slave to the experiments forever, and I have a hard time wondering how other people can want that. Anyhow, it can't hurt to look. And if I don't find anything...I can alway start looking around for an industrial position, as opposed to an academic one. Supposed to be very different feels to the jobs. So, time to do that while the connection's behaving...and time to get some food.
current mood:  calm
current music: The History Channel and Ruthie's loud breathing
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Thursday, May 15th, 2003
| |
4:11 pm - I had a good feeling...?
|
Today was one of those days where I woke up and just had a bad feeling about the day. No reason why...nothing stressful to do at work, the weather wasn't bad, I was feeling fine physically (which I was grateful for since going to the Matrix Reloaded show cut in on my sleep time). Luckily, my impressions of impending doom haven't played out. It's been a good day, except for the aggravation caused by using Excel for the first time in years. Sure, the lab's still cold, but I've got a warm coat and a heater now.
I went down and saw my fishie friend on my way out to lunch today too. I think I only told Mysti about this, so I'll explain. There's this huge fish tank in the first floor atrium of the building where I work, and I make sure to stop by and look at it everyday on my way out of work. To keep things short, whoever keeps up the tank has been switching fish in and out occasionally, except for one that always stays in there. It's just a plain river or lake fish - greyish brown, half a foot long or whatever. Nothing special looking. But it *always* comes right over to me when I look in the tank, and it looks back at me for as long as I stand there. None of the other fish do that. It reminds me of Aquaman on that old Cartoon Network commercial, using his powers to bring the fish to the side of the bowl. So, anyhow, I now consider that fish a sort of pet of mine, even though I have no idea who really takes care of it. ^_~
Well, it looks like I'll be able to get to my first Primerica class tonight, time wise. If not, then, well, I've got half an hour more to make it to Nia. ^_^
current mood:  working
current music: The Thames theme ("I am - a man - of the sea!")
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Monday, May 12th, 2003
| |
1:10 pm - A few thoughts from the weekend
|
It wasn't too bad of a weekend. The long drive there and back just gives me lots of time to think, and that's no good, since I don't think in very positive directions.
I'm just sort of trying to make my life go in a productive and satisfying direction, and I'm finding waiting for things to fall into place is very frustrating and often discouraging. It's especially hard to see good things happening to everyone around me and then not really have anything extraordinary happening to me. Not that I don't want wonderful things to happen to those around me, but geez, I think I'm due for some good vibes to come my way too. So, I'm really hoping that this Primerica meeting thing turns into something decent tonight. That might help some.
I think that one of the worst gaps in my life is the fact that I'm horribly lonely. True, I have amazing friends, and I'm very grateful for all of them. However, I'm lonely in the sense that I haven't had a serious relationship in ages, and I just have the feeling that that's something - I won't say necessary, because technically it's not...it just feels that way - but something that I need. Like when you crave certain kinds of food because your body needs a certain vitamin that's in it. Or it's like those angels in the cathedral in Nisan on Xenogears. They're technically very lovely and adept and powerful creatures on their own, but they're much better as a matched set. Eh, now I'm getting rambly. I just, well, want someone to just be watching out for me and there for me on a deep level that I can do for that person in return. Something like that...I'm having trouble thinking of the right words for this to match how I'm feeling. Big surprise there.
Of course, there's always the problem of finding someone...which I won't go into right now for a few reasons. One, it's ridiculously cold in the lab (16.5 degrees C [just don't want to look up the degree symbol keystroke]) so my fingers aren't moving too fast to type. Besides, just writing this has given me enough junk to think and worry about. Luckily, I'm going to go read at lunch, and that'll help redivert my thoughts. ^_^
current mood:  lonely
current music: Eh, it's a commercial on the radio
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, May 6th, 2003
| |
12:37 pm - One long reintroduction...
|
So, I'm finally taking the time to sit down and write a little bit in my journal. I've been sort of planning out journal entries in my mind while I've been at work for weeks now, but then I never actually write. So I get the false feeling that I've been keeping up to date here...just nobody else can see that I have been.
Who knows how long I can write today, though, since something in here is making a horrible high-pitched noise that's painfully loud over here by the computer. It's decreased in the past couple of minutes, but I still hear it.
I suppose my lack of physical updating here is sort of unfortunate, since I've got a lot of things that I could comment on that would make no sense to anyone but me. Now, I know that only a handful of people might look at this, but still...
Anyhow...it's turning out to be a pretty good day so far. I woke up in a good mood, mostly because I don't remember my dreams from last night, so it feels like I slept. ^_^ I've been a edgy lately for a bunch of reasons that I don't have time to elaborate on right now. It's a pretty annoying feeling, since lately it's like I'm swinging through so many different emotions through the course of a day...anything from a sort of depression to anxiety about my future to a sort of normal good mood to a streak of mental self-cruelty to a giddy indifference. It's unsettling to say the least, since I'm not usually like this. Sure, I get some mood swings - who doesn't, ya know? But this makes me feel sort of unstable in a way. I just don't want to start getting really obnoxious or mean to other people, and that's what I'm worried is going to happen.
I've been trying to think of ways to distract and keep myself busy so that I can sort of even myself back out. I had hoped at first to be able to start up a martial arts program at the CMAI place where I do Nia on Saturday, but, of course, the beginner class is Wednesday night - which is the only night that I've got set in stone plan-wise, so to speak. So that was a disappointment. But now I've finally decided to go and try and get in contact with a couple of old friends of mine - maybe tonight, maybe not. Depends on if I'm going to be going out for the evening or staying in. I'll just see where that goes.
Eh, I've rambled enough for now, and can elaborate later. For it is lunch time, and I am hungry and eager to sit outside where, unlike my lab, it's actually warm. ^_~
current mood:  cold
current music: The Blitz - I brought my radio in to work with me
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, February 5th, 2003
| |
8:43 pm - Trying to get back into the swing of things...
|
|
| Monday, January 6th, 2003
| |
12:57 am - It's so...quiet...
|
Well, it's one of those days where I could write a lot if I wanted to...but it's late, so I won't. Once I pulled into the parking lot on my way home, I knew I just had to write for the hell of it. It's just too pretty of a night not to. Dumb reason, but who cares. The night was beautiful...not too horribly cold, and full of a thin layer of fresh, sparkly snow. It's like how I remember snowy winter nights from when I was little. You know how those look...just enough to cover the grass all up, and line all the branches on the trees. And the lights illuminate off the clouds and falling snow to make it look almost bright enough to be a typical Northeast Ohio overcast day...and there aren't any footprints in the snow to mess it up or enough tire tracks to turn it to ugly brown slush; it still sparkles like a carpet sprinkled with diamonds. Yep...just a perfectly gorgeous night.
I got plenty of time to admire it while carrying in my new full-length mirror...had to make two trips because of it. I think it's one of those mirrors that makes you look thinner than what you really are...I looked really small when I propped it against the wall and looked at myself. Who knows. But, fortunately, it looks good in my room...goes very nicely with the things I have. Not too bad for picking something mostly based on the fact that this particular mirror happened to have a price tag. Didn't want to end up with a $60 mirror on accident, sale or not. So, I guess it all worked out well...and that means I should stop writing and go to sleep. That perfect winter night tonight will equal ridiculously slow drivers in the morning, and that means I need to wake up early.
current mood:  peaceful
current music: Nothing...shouldn't make noise that'll wake up my roommate.
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Thursday, January 2nd, 2003
| |
12:27 pm - Oooh...writing at work again...shame on me...
|
Well, at least my entry will be quick, then.
I just don't know what to think right now...I'm just not feeling happy with anything I do or have done lately or what I'm capable of and so on, and that sucks. And the fact that I feel like that just makes it worse...these goofy cycles are frustrating, I tell ya. I just need to figure out something good to break out of it.
New Year's wasn't bad, so at least that wasn't it. I was glad to be able to spend it with good friends. It did feel a little strange not to be at home, though. This was the first year that I haven't. No time with my family...none of my dad's famous cooking... Well, there wasn't much I could do about that. Maybe next year my vacation/work pattern will be able to be different...or I may be doing something totally different when it comes to work (although I wouldn't really count on that)...who knows.
I think I had more that I wanted to say, but I can't remember it right now. I probably will as soon as I turn the computer off, though. But that's okay, because I did want this to be a short post, right? Right. And so it is.
current mood:  discontent
current music: lots of noisy refrigerators
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Monday, December 30th, 2002
| |
10:28 pm - What better time than now?
|
So...it's taken me almost three months, but I'm finally in the mood to write in my journal. Naturally, I was all wired up about it when I created the thing (partly because I did it at work, I think...one of those "tee hee, I'm doing something non-work related at work" deals or something). But then who knows what happened...I just didn't start writing. How typically me...at least I came back to it, though, and just in time. Had I waited any longer, this might've looked like a New Year's resolution to write in my Live Journal. *gasp* ^_~ I don't go for that...never really have. Although I can see the lure of making a fresh start when you change your calendar, it just won't work for me. If I'm going to do something, I'll do it when I get around to it, and if it's really important enough to me to keep it up, I will. I don't need some silly self-imposed resolution-based pressure to guilt-trip me into doing something within a certain time limit.
I got in the mood to write a couple of days ago, but I was pretty angry then, and I don't want to start this thing off with a rant. That's just no good. Obviously, I'm not feeling causelessly angry right now, mostly because I've got some peace and quiet for the evening...I was in the mood for it. Got to do things at my own pace, watch a little tv for a change, use my nice heated neck wrap thing that smells like snickerdoodles...would've played Xenogears if I hadn't have forgotten it and my memory cards at home...can't have everything, I guess. There will be plenty more relaxing days coming up this week, too, as I'll have my apartment to myself, for one thing.
You know...coming back to this journal made me realize that I need to take some time to sit down and get the settings where I want them. Doing a quick set up at work doesn't allow for fine tuning, I guess. Who knows when that will happen, though. Oh well, at least I got a picture. I knew which one I wanted, and right as I was going to the My Documents folder to get it, I'm thinking, "Son of a bitch! All my little shrunken pictures are on the laptop!" -_- And, silly me, I just deleted all my saved e-mail messages with the original picture files in them to make room in my inbox. Luckily, I still had the one I wanted saved on Amrin's LJ picture page...so I took it. ^_^ Gah...and there's a lot of stuff I need to do to her LJ page too...just not tonight...this and getting my financial records caught up were enough. ^_~
current mood:  productive
current music: FFVII OST disc 1
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
eltiana's journal
energetic